BOOM HEADSHOT
Kinda self explanitory..
Well... shit. I'm Kinda bummed out. But it's only posponed so no big deal. Til Spring.
*Sighs deep* But really.. I need to get something out, These journals are here.. so.. I'm just gonna start typing and not stopping until I feel better or I feel sleepy. None of the below info is gonna be life threatening, just mentalscribbles. So you don't have to read if ya got things you wanna go do :3 Like play videogames or something fun.
Now.. Lately it's been feeling as if time around me has been halted, so much is happening and changing, but at the same time, Nothing is.
It's been making me think a whole lot about my life. Where I've progressed and where I need to work on more, So I thought, maybe I need to find out what's going on, write it out, ya know?
No Job.. Been Looking, but there's not much work around here, small country place.
No Driver's license cause parents won't let me drive because.. They want me to get a job first, but since there are no jobs round here, I'm le fuckosed.
No art done cause.. said actions and ect take up alot of time.
Family.. I Have someone I Love very much, ( But I'll talk about him in a later journal. ) I Have alot of Bros on here, scattered all across the Globe, Got a Crazy ass Lesbian that lives on the Texas State Line. Lots of Love.. And I Love ya all back. Very Muchso.
I Have everything I need to live, so why is everything feeling like it's missing something? Rest in bed and it feels so cold inside of the covers instead of warm like it used to years ago. I go to sleep, and wake up what seems to be days later, in some weird random place of the house in the middle of doing dishes or laundry or.. something that I do.
Looking back over the years.. I realised I've grown into it. Dunno the word for it, but the air feels stagnent and ill. I havn't spoken a word with any meaning besides 'Yes' and 'No Thankyou' or 'Mhm' in over a week and a half.
Is it depression? Lonelyness? What is it called? Because I've been feeling it for a long time now, and I can't figure it out. I keep getting so close to feeling better, but quickly sink right back into this spot I'm in. Like it's some kind of sandpit, you can use all your energy to crawl closer to the edge, but once you stop you go SWOOOOP right into it, and not even notice because the sand moves so gentle under you ya don't realise your ass is halfway in the ground.
*Runs in circles yelling* AAANNNGGGG!! >_< I don't know what's wrong with me, does anyone have any ideas? I'm up for trying anything. ._. I'm so tired, but I'm not sleepy. Colors are going Greyish and nonexciting when I try and draw..
All and all, I'm fine. I'm alive, But.. something's wrong with me. Hasn't been right since I.. I don't remember. I think it started when I was about 13. I'm heading for 18. It's about time I fix myself.
I've tried to write out journals explaining this before, but none of it ever made sense when I reread it, Soo.. Really, I have a problem. There it is. Work your magic. I'm really asking for help on this one..
But after leaving comments on that.. ONTO A BETTER SUBJECT. Tommorrow is the lunar eclipse, folowed by a meteor shower on the 1st of september. So Huns, Make a wish, maybe it will come true ^^
I'm.. Tired now. I'm gonna go catch some rest.
Goodnight Guys (Please don't be worried, I'm just admitting something is wrong with me, and.. they say admittance is the road to recovery. Much love to all of you who I give it to. )
ART IS off -
-Promised snowboard pictures- Snowboard project on hold.
DM, Not started
Galadrex, Halfway?
Rest I'm not listing on here cause they'll be done randomly after the rest.
-Trades- Not Taking Anymore, But ask away.
Buffalobobby's comic- Had DONE But Got deleted in a family sport of deleting random objects.
-Requests
Zak's 10 pictures, Put on hold. Starting 1.
-Birthday
Sean's Birthday Picture. Almost done
Dohrac's Birthday Picture. Halfway
skeef's Birthday Picture. Started.
-Personal Projects
Refsheet
GH-Mongo, Redoing. Didn't think it was good enough, and I'm not about to give someone I like, bad art.
If I promised you, or Owe you art, let me know.
*Blows his last journal all to hell* 
Gloomy
Devious Comments
Kinda feel completely empty and you want something, and miss something yet for some reason your not even sure what it is, half the time your just sitting there staring into space not even realizing, have little or no appetite for food and can barely sleep *shrugs* and the rest
oh the fun of it all
Dont know what to suggest but find something that makes yeh happy, sounds so simple lol
Snowboarding worked for me last week lol, but im back home now so it sucks lol
all the best dude i hope you feel better
*hug*
--
Well It's All Fun And games Until Someone Loses Their Virginity
--
I am a pacifist, not a pushover. Don't confuse the two.
For all you wolf lovers out there check out this poem of mine [link]
--
LMAO 24/7 <3 -God has something planned for me and I tend to stick around to see what that is-
I can't say that I feel the same way as you feel, but I can tell that something is distressing you.
It may be the 'no job' problem, the bad feeling that you get is probably the thought that you could accomplish so much more if you had one, you may even beat up yourself, cause you might feel that each day that passes by, feels wasted and unfulfilled.
Your current place may also be a factor, It may be a place that you might feel too small for you, too simple for your way of thinking and that you might need to go somewhere you feel like you really belong.
And lastly, you say of the feeling of something missing, that I cannot help, you have to find it yourself, just like how I found what was missing with me. It may be something you always had, but you never knew existed or something you thought had no importance.
Don't take me too seriously though, most of this I learned from my own experiences.
and best of wishes
--
...and they were dead when I got there.
--
You are suddenly aware of your terrible posture.
When I would have the chance to come to you so soon how I can I would do it and go to you in the fastest way I find...
maybe I could comfort you a bit or make you feel not so alone... I really hope I would because you mean so much to me and I don't want you to feel like this sweet heart
btw... your gift from me to you will come soon... I've needed too long for it *lazy Dohrac* so I hope to hear soon better news from my sweet moosi
see you later, I will always think on you, every night... every day... and for always! <3
--
Birth... Life... Death... an endless line~
*Hugs* You'll feel better, dun worry. Am I the lesbian who's from Texas? XDDD
Previous Page12Next Page